Your Absence
by SlowScar
Summary: Edward found himself packing for the second time. Set somewhere after Twilight or New Moon, no spoilers. Bad summary indeed, better story. It is a Jacob/Edward story, read on your own risk. R&R to make a lonely author much happier.


A/N: I feel like a jerk for not writing more about this pairing since most of my subscribers liked the first story I wrote. But here at last! Yes, it's another oneshot but hey! ... I actually like this one better. I hope you will enjoy and flamers stay in the fireplace in Gryffindor's common room! (heart)

**Your Absence**

Edward was packing. He wasn't really aware of the fact before he had placed the now full bag by his bookcase. A few seconds he just stood there, eyeing the bag as if wondering why it stood there. It was a rather expensive bag. Esme had bought it to him a couple of years ago. It looked discrete enough for him to take liking in it and could handle great weight. Probably one of her best choices to buy, not just another one of those overly expensive gifts she handed to him time after time to spoil him. Not sure if she did it on purpose or perhaps it was just one of those motherly instincts she got. Sighing Edward pulled a pale hand through uncombed locks, still eyeing the bag warily. The bag itself didn't frighten him – It was the meaning behind it that made his skin crawl.

It was late spring outside his window and the wind had gotten more furious than ever lately. The sun was out but Edward couldn't feel its warmth. He hadn't been able to for days. The ache in his heart was growing with each day and he knew that soon he wouldn't be able to take it any more. This light and refreshing villa located near the town of Forks, Washington, used to be one of his absolutely favourite places to live. Now it was choking him, and he didn't even need to breath. He couldn't bring out any feelings of guilt or remorse to what had happened months ago in this quiet little town, and yet he still felt burdened by it. Despite how Bella-

A gentle knock on his door made Edward loose focus on his thoughts for a second and when Alice entered he didn't dare contemplate them any longer. The girl always knew how he was feeling just by looking at him and he knew she wouldn't approve of him thinking of _her_. Alice's presence was soothing, it had always been, but it wasn't what he needed right now. He wanted to be alone, to sort things out, but he knew Alice wouldn't go until she wanted to. After scanning his room with her eyes Alice took a seat in a chair, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Going somewhere?" She made a microscopic nod towards Edwards bag, not that she really needed to as Edward knew fully well what she was referring to. He smiled apologetic at her and looked out the window.

"London is said to be rather beautiful this year. Our flat in the city might be pleasant enough. I could use the change." Alice didn't say anything and her thoughts didn't give much away, to Edwards distress. She had become better at controlling her thoughts around him and a few days ago she even beat him at chess. They stood in silence for a while, Edward closing his eyes to enhance his hearing. Getting comfort from the familiar sounds that resounded through their huge villa. Esme were in the kitchen, cooking for the sake of cooking, and Jasper was seated in the living-room together with Rosalie and Emmet. They were teasing him, in a kind way of course, and he could hear Jasper wondering why Alice hadn't returned yet.

"Shouldn't you discuss this with someone?" Alice flawless voice brought Edward back to his senses and he opened his eyes to find Alice staring up at him with a stern look on her face. Edward knew bloody well that he needed to discuss this with someone, he definitely didn't need his fortune-telling sister to tell him something that obvious. What were she playing at anyhow? Flipping open his cell-phone Edward created a new text message. After he finished writing the following: _We need to talk. The meadow as quick as you can get there,_ he showed it to Alice who rolled her eyes at his lack of words. Edward clicked send and put his phone back into his pocket. Walking over to his window and opening it he could hear Alice rising from her seat.

"You could at least have sent a heart or something. What happened to Romeo Cullen?" Alice's joke made Edward laugh and he didn't bother trying to hide it. In a second he was gone and instead running through the thick forest toward his own private place. He shared it with a few and no matter what happened in his life it still kept its grace. He could lay in that meadow for hours in even the darkest of winters but it didn't matter. Sooner or later the sun shone through the clouds and made the entire field glow with light. It was almost a magical place, a wonder of nature you couldn't put your finger on.

Arriving to the meadow Edward looked around to find that his partner hadn't turned up yet. It was late morning so perhaps they were still in their bed. Relaxing slightly Edward walked around until he found a good spot to lay down on. He spread his arms and dug down his fingers in the warm grass. Breathing in the smell of earth he could close his eyes and escape the tension that had been building up inside of him. He was so tired of carrying the world on his shoulders. For once he'd like to be normal. Since he had told Bella-

The sound of rustling leaves and loud pant made Edward stop that train of thought. The second time this day had he been interrupted right before he could even think her full name. Clearly something didn't want him to think about it. But then, _maybe it's only for the better_, Edward thought as he rolled his head to the side watching the approaching figure.

Tanned skin was the first thing he saw. Slightly tattered jeans were hanging loosely from those perfect hips and seeing that being the only piece of clothing worn at the moment it made Edward unconsciously lick his bottom lip. He trailed the young body with his golden eyes, taking in all the new changes from the last time they saw each other no matter how small. With a last look at newly washed brown hair that gave out the most wonderful aroma Edward met the strong eyes of Jacob Black.

"Five weeks." The words were spit out like poison, badly hiding the frustration Jacob felt and making Edward wince. "Five bloody weeks, Cullen." The anger Jacob felt was evident, his hands both trembling and clenched tightly shut. Edward felt worse than awful and sat up, breaking eye-contact with flaming brown to examine the growing grass before him.

"I haven't heard a word, not a single breath from you for five weeks and now you message me. Are you fucking kidding me?" Jacob didn't start pacing back and forth dramatically as he usually did, instead he kept standing around one yard away from Edward, looking more intimidating than usual. Edward said in a low voice something about being busy which only made the younger man snort.

"Busy? Well obviously to busy to pick up the phone and call me. Obviously to busy to tell me what ever could have been going on. Obviously to damn busy to care how all of this made me feel!" Jacob could both see and sense how his words hurt Edward but being to caught up in his own contradicting emotions he did nothing but to carry on with his rant. "I've been so empty and hurt. Yesterday I couldn't even get out the bloody bed! My friends can't stand me, my family's growing tired of my behaviour and the worst thing is that I could do nothing to stop this. Have you any idea how much I've ached, how much my heart have pained me until I wanted nothing more than death? Can't you see how much you've been torturing me!"

There Edward snapped and stood up in a second and snarled with fury.

"Don't you think I've felt it to? Have you been so caught up in your own misery that you didn't stop to think for one second about my feelings?" Jacob tried to interrupt and stepped closer but Edward wouldn't listen. "I've twisted in agony so much I wondered if you had not made me human again, as that would be the only logical reason to why my heart would ache so much. I am tired of taking on everyone's burdens! Don't you think for one second I wanted for you to feel this way. I was trying to save her life!" Jacob's eyes narrowed.

"_Her?_ You spent these weeks with Bella?" Jealousy started to fill the shape-shifter's heart and Edward didn't need to read his mind to guess what he was thinking. Edward sighed and tried to calm down, he didn't want to fight Jacob. But why did it have to be so difficult for the younger teen to trust him?

"I did. But it was nothing like that. I wanted to protect her." A snort.

"She's not your responsibility any more. You have no obligations to stay with her." Jacobs cold words made Edward shiver along with the loathing behind them._ Unless, of course, he's considering leaving you for her_.

The thought seemed to fill up the whole meadow but as soon as Edward heard it his eyes grew large. He looked at Jacobs face, tried to find anything in it that would prove to him that Jacob didn't actually believe what he had just been thinking. But his face, the face that for just a few minutes ago was filled with anger, were now twisted in pain and looking so insecure. For each second the silence grew so did the fear in Jacob's face. Edward wanted to say something. Shout, scream, whatever! Only break this numbing silence. But he couldn't, he had forgotten how.

In a microsecond Edward could see the muscles in Jacob tense as his entire body screamed at him to run away as fast as he could. Narrowing his eyes and before Jacob could escape Edward took speed to where Jacob where standing. Firmly holding the thrashing teen at place beneath him with his hands and straddling his waist with his legs, Edward had successfully managed to stop Jacob from leaving but the painful screams erupting from his minds and the heartache he felt was starting to make Edward dizzy.

His cold vampire body was suddenly feeling sensitive and something almost magnetic was making it difficult not to lean in closer to the shape-shifter underneath him. Jacob, on the other hand, was less than pleased. He felt hurt, humiliated and run over. The feeling to punch Edward in the face was strong, but not as strong as the feeling to go beat the ever-living shit out of Bella Swan. His wrath was subdued when he heard Edward speak.

"I am not going back to Bella. Please stop fighting with me, _Jacob_." With the mentioning of his name and the promise behind that statement Jacob stopped struggling and the painful knot in his throat was easing up. For the first time he noticed the positions they were in and how close Edward was. Edward took advantage of Jacob's sudden change of nature and leaned in closer, still keeping eye contact.

"I flew to Italy hoping I could talk some sense into her before she made her choice." Edward frowned in despair, "I was to late." Jacob felt the same grief Edward felt over this situation, somewhat involuntarily since he was still a bit pissed of about the whole matter but kept his mouth shut as he didn't want to blurt out something insensitive. Edward was lost in his memory for a few seconds, replaying the scene in his head when he found her in the Volturi hideout. Coming back to his senses Edward picked up where he left of, "She has changed. I've changed. We couldn't possibly fit together any more." With a small smirk on his lips Edward leaned in so close so that his mouth was beside Jacobs ear.

"There's only one person who will ever fit perfectly together with me." His words came out as a husky whisper that made Jacob feel his entire body tense with anticipation. Waiting for the words that did not come Jacob watched in wonder as Edward drew back with a smirk on his face. Jacob, to frustrated after riding this emotional roller-coaster, made a growl from the back of his throat before flipping their positions with ease.

Jacob's tanned skin pressed hard against Edward's and after seeing that he still wore that smirk on his lips Jacob leaned in closer to Edward's face.

"Who?" Jacob's breath came out heavy and despite feeling the need from his question Edward laid still and silent. _Stop playing games_, Jacob thought as he noticed the lack of response he was getting from the vampire. Pressing their bodies more tightly against each other Jacob could hear Edward's breath hitch in his throat. Jacob's moist lips where now so close to Edward's pink ones, merely ghosting over them as he spoke in a quiet voice. "Say it."

"You." Edward had barely said the word before Jacob's lips met his with hot passion and love. Not that he really did mind being interrupted this time. Edward's hands found their way to a slender neck as Jacob buried his own fingers in Edward's golden hair. Each time Jacob had to part for air Edward made sure he repeated the word he knew Jacob so desperately needed to hear. It didn't matter how many times he said it, each time was like the first and Edward was rewarded with more love, passion and devotion until they both laid flush against each other breathing heavily.

Jacob's insecurity was gone with the wind and with each kiss Edward made sure he didn't give him any reason to doubt the feeling they both shared. Edward smiled.

"Feel like moving to London with me?"


End file.
